Kids

Ang Karinderya (short short version)

Alas onse ng gabi. Nakalugmok si Mang Jose sa bangketa ng kanyang munting karinderya. Malalim ang iniisip."Paubos na ang supply sa ref. saan naman kaya ako ulit kukuha?", tanong niya sa sarili. Nagulantang siya nang may dumating na pulis. Pinagpawisan si Mang Jose.
"Sisig nga please, dine in." sabi ng pulis.

Napabuntong hininga. Inabutan niya ng pinggan at kutsara ang pulis. Hinainan ng isang platong sisig.

Bata pa si Mang Jose noong natutunan niyang magluto. Palagi niya noong pinapanood ang kanayang inay kapag nagsisimula nang maghanda sa kusina. Lubha niyang ikinatutwa kapag hinihiwa na ng ina asa dalwang piraso ang tainga ng baboy.

Binuksan ni mang jose ang radyo. Bumulalas ang malakas na boses ng announcer.: "Hanggang ngayon wala pang malinaw na pahayag ang mga pulistungkol sa layunin at kinaroroonan ng serial kiler." Nilipat ni Mang JOse sa FM: kasalukuyang pinapatugtog ang "Your time's gonna come" NI Led Zepellin.

Nagsimula na lamang siya magluto nooong namatay ang kanyang mga magulang. Nalunod sila sa ilog noong umagang magsasampu na si Mang Jose. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa natatagpuan ang kanilang mga banggkay. sa isip ng batang Jose, alam niyang pinagkakain na sila ng mga laman tubig.

Nagsalita ang pulis: "ang sarap ng luto mo pards... dito ulit ako sa susunod."

tahimik na pinanood ni Mang Jose ang matakaw na bisita. Magiisang linggo nang nakatambay ang mga pulis sa baryo. Hinihinala nilang dito nagtatago ang serial killer.

ang serial killer. siyang ang bagong kilabot ng probinsya. kinakatay niya ang mga biktima, dati mga babae lamang, pero ngayon mga bata na rin. kinukuha ang tainga, dila, at mga laman-loob, at tinatapon ang katawan sa ilog. hindi na makalabas labas ang mga tao dahil sa takot.

Kaya nga nagkakaporblema si Mang Jose. sikat ang kanyang karinderya noon pero kukunti na lamang ang nangahas na lumbas sa gabi at kumain doon. Idagdag pa ang paubos nang laman ng kanyang ref.

"Pahingi na rin ng tubig, " sabi ng pulis. biglang kumislap ang mga mata ni Mang Jose. "KUmuha ka nalang sa loob" sagot niya "doon sa dispenser." Tumayo ang pulis at pumasok sa loob dala ang maliit na baso.

Nakangiti na si Mang Jose. Sinundan ang pulis dala ang kutsilyo ng kanyang nanay.

Bagong Putahe. Nyahaha.

BLog things

my Jap name is Yutaka Kuga.

My Superhero Name is The Steel Singer Your Superpower is Extra-dimensional Your Weakness is Tummy Rubs Your Weapon is Your Sonic Crossbow Your Mode of Transportation is Pegasus.

You havea passion for everything - including sleeping.Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well.You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers.You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situation

You're an expressive, offbeat blogger who tends to write about anything and everything. You tend to set blogging trends, and you're the most likely to write your own meme or survey.You are a bit distant though. Your blog is all about you - not what anyone else has to say.

Mine mine mine

Reveal mine:Submit the code xyzzy, and push KEYPAD ENTER and LEFT SHIFT when the game loads. Move your pointer over a square with a hidden mine will result in a very small black pixel appearing in the top right corner of the screen. Or submit the Code SHIFT + SHIFT + xyzzy + SHIFT + SHIFT after moving the pointer over the game area. You won't be able to use this code for Windows ME.

Get unlimited time:)Press and hold the Left Mouse Button + Right Mouse Button and push ESC. OR press and hold the Left Mouse Button + Right Mouse Button + CTRL.Sound effects:)Remember to create a backup copy of a file before attempting to use your text editor to edit that particular file. Use your text editor to alter the "winmine.ini" file. Add the line "SOUND=3".

Change best times:)Remember to create a backup copy of a file before attempting to use your text editor to edit that particular file. Use your text editor to alter the "winmine.ini" file. Alter the lines labeled "Name1", "Name2", and "Name3". Just change the name after the "=" sign, with the name you wish to have appear on the best times list. You can also if you wish to edit the times which appear on the list, by altering the lines "Time1", "Time2", and "Time3", to that particular number of seconds.

Get an easy win:)In the GAME option and click on CUSTOM. Make the size as follows: height 24, width 30 and 10 mines. You should unlock a large number of mines on your first click. Upon winning the game the smiley face will be wearing sun glasses.

Jealousy/Envy

jealousy/envy
madaling magselos o mainggit
bakit?
ang tanong e, what makes it even possible?
kasi one possesses something that i dont have.
why should u care that he possesses what you dont?
kasi i want to be an UBERMAN.
oh.. so is it right to say that the natural inclination of man to top other people is a cause for his jealousy?
yeah... yeah?
so man shouldn't top other people and be content in sulking, no competition, just be a drop out kasi jealousy is bad?
no... competition is good but if it is a cause for hatred and quarrel among supposed brothers or sisters... then it does not become good.
does competition always lead to hatred and dissent?
not always... there are times that competition is fun..
is competition fun when ur losing?
yeah... it can... but hard nga lang..
it's easy when u get used to it.
to overcome jealosy... always think that there is always something more that you have that the other don't. and being happy at other's success is some admirable value.mahirap pero posible.

hopeful Romantic

knock knock knock..
who is it?

the yard man...
just a sec...

;) ;) ;) on second thought, affairs aren't such bad ideas afterall.
The stealth mode really always works.

ngak

Hopeless Romantic

Knock, Knock, Knock
Who is it?

Open the door so you'll know...
But i can't...

Even if i serenade you?
Please don't..

But i like you...
But i'm inlove..

can you not love me?
Please go away...

will you leave my heart in pain?
i do not know you...

You will if you open your door...
i'm sorry...

open just a crack so i may see you before i go...
good bye...

tsktsktsk..
moral: give it up on taken women. you'll only be looking and feeling pathetic.

Sin and Will

Stain is undesirable. Comes with the idea of pureness/whiteness.
So a stain in a stain is not a stain.”
“only a stain in a something clean can be called a real stain.”
So, prerequisite for stain is an idea of cleanliness/purity/whiteness
Thus, there is sin because there is goodness. Anything that stains goodness is sin.

What is goodness?
--Care for self and others.
What is sin?
--Anything that hurts myself or others.
How is myself/others hurt?
--When I go against the will of God.
What is the will of God?
--Growth which is beneficial only to us.
--Thus, all commandments have an underlying theme of GROWTH and all SINS against God as confirmed by the church has an underlying theme of UNGROWTH.
Why the need to grow?
--To realize the self’s full potential some of which are HAPPINESS, ability to ARTICULATE thoughts and feelings, MATURE in relationships
--Thus, God’s will is for man to be happy. In realizing the self’s full potential, others are going to be cared in the process.
Thus, God’s will is love, for and in all mankind.
Thus, Let your will be done would mean, let me love and teach me how to love.

Qoutable Qoutes

Therese:

“perfection consists in doing his will, in being what he wills us to be.” “ demons… are cowards, capable of fleeing before the gaze of a little child”

Archie:

“gawin na natin para matapos na.”
“the most fatal of thoughts is to think that there is a lot of time.”
“when tomorrow has been used, you better do it now.”

JBoy:

"be a flower in full bloom, get carried away by emotions coz thats who you are"

Martin:

"it is god's will when you are happy and at peace."

Enemies of Meditation

time consciousness
fear of knowing something
hesitation/acceptance of self
/truthbliss/insight scavenging
symphony of sounds - nakakaantok
tiredness

Security Guard's LIfe

There is no job more boring than that of a security guard. Believe me. In my twenty years as a security guard in this god forsaken train station, I can say nothing else truer.

Sulking in benches
Sleepy in position
Same design of uniform
Point point at bags
Snubbed by people
Staying in one place

Phew.. I need action.Iv’e done so before: I pushed a drunk man seconds before the train came dashing. I loved that sound of cracking bones and splittering blood muffled by the electric buzz of the trian that passed. Damn.. and now there’s this pregnant woman…

Multo sa Kuwarto

Matulog, mahimbing, managinip
Mamamatay ang iyong kapatid.
Mangangaliwa ang iyong ama.
Magpapakamatay ang iyong ina.

Gumising agad, sumigaw.
Lumuha at manahimik.
Narinig mo ba ang halakhak
Sa kaloob looban ng pader?

Tumingin sa bintana, huminga
Titigan ang akasya, titigan
Ayon, lumipad ang ibon.Huwag ka nang matulog.

Di Nakita

Sa gabi, di mo nakitang
Nabuksan ang lagusan
Ng dalawang kunehong
Naiinip sa maliit na kulungan

Gustong makalabas
Makatakas kahit panandali
kapag mataas ang bakod
At matigas ang lupa

Pinalambot ng laway
Nagtulunganang magbungkal
Pumatong sa isa
Para matalon ang bakod

Di mo nakita ang pagbubungkal
Di mo nakita ang pagpapatong
Nakita mo lang nakalaya na sila
Patuloy na lumalaking, masaya.

The Realm of Nothing

We came from there but we can never turn back anymore.
Jesus came from there but he came out so he closed it.
What is in there? --- wrong question… nothing is in there… I can’t talk about it… Creatures are only in the realm of IMPERFECTION… the devil is not there…. If he is a creature…

“nothing” creeps up on us influencing our actions…
“perfection” also creeps down to us influencing our actions…

If the gates to nothing were closed, how does nothing creep up? Geez… I don’t know… my previous resolutions cannot be wrong….

The previous reflections on “nothing” were the afterlife nothingness…
But the influence of “nothing” is still pretty much present in this life… how can it be said to be closed?

Aha!!! It will only be totally closed at the end of time!!! When everyone of us has walked the bridge to God… becoming human is possessing the influences of “nothing”. Not until we share the diviness of God will we totally disrobe ourselves of the effects of nothing..
Okay. Resolved. Done.. enough.. im tired.

New Problem: Dwarfss

What about the dwarfs of Aslan?
Did Jesus really close the gates?
-- salvation as conditonal (only if you accept the hand, will you be saved); freedom unmessed by God.
-- true, but we will never not accept the hand as had been said.
--the ultimate meaning of the cross is that everyone is saved from becoming nothing.
--everyone can do evil with corresponding consequences of turning less and less human/perfect till the helll part, where they eventually realize and repent.

How about MONSTERS? Do they exist?
--Gee. I don’t wanna know… : -(, reserved for next time. What are monsters? Being creation is having the capacity for being perfect. Monsters with reason vs. animalistic monsters… etc etc etc)




Did aslan really leave the dwarfs to wallow in their denials/confusion? C.S. lewis didn’t continue the story of the dwarves… what could have happened to them…

Case: Dwarfs thrown in the barn – dead – they think they are still in the barn but actually they are already in paradise. But they don’t realize that. They were wallowing in their own thoughts.
Aslan gives them more and more and more food. (implies a non cruel lion, not wild either, but loving. Ok! Resolved!! Aslan is all perfect. He only resorts to seemingly cruel attititudes to help his creatures grow)
The Dwarfs take the gifts but thinking of them as mere stuff in the barn.

Possibility A: Dwarfs: oh im getting fat with this stuff. This musn’t be barn stuff. Oh gracious! Im in Aslan’s Country!
-- blessings are realized…. One sees the reality… one repents…

Possibility B: Dwarfs get thinner and thinner. Their minds make what they eat unnutritious. Mind power makes real what they think (placebo effect)… possible kaya? Hmmm…

Another question of the possibility of complete total denial….
ASLAN must CARE for the dwafs!! His perfection requires him to care about the least of his creatures even these despicable dwarfs. He wouldn’t give up on them. He’ll keep on giving food, giving and giving. He will alter their environment/sourroindings to make them realize all their gifts and blessedness…

Can one totally deny such magnitude of love and generousity??? Huh???
Let’s get more real: do I know anyone who seems hopless and always denying the goodness of lfe? Is there someone else like the dwarfs in reality?

Sin—denial of the gifts of God. Can one be stuck in hell, stuck in the pit? This was already resolved pala… Aslan has done his work. The gates to nothing are closed. The continous offer of food is given like the extendable hand of Jesus from the bridge…

Aha!!! Salvation is for everybody unconditionally, universally. The cross embraces alll all all all. He can’t mess with our own free will. But we eventually realize the consequences we give to ourselves due to denying him when we feel the pain of crashing to the ground, the pain of hunger, the pain of fire, or wwhatever word we can use to describe the end point of denial. The pain wasn’t caused by God but by the influence of “nothing” on us.
Gee.. im confused…

The End point of Denial

So there must be a point where man who wants to fall pa deepr, ultimately realizes the consequences of his aciotns to himself. The point of ‘OH I’m becoming nothing na pala.” “Oh im gonna hit the ground hard.” Or “Ouch!!! Aray!!!” “the pit of the hole.

Jesus’s death and resurrection saved us from total wreckage of self. By dying he became one with nothing, but he rose from it. And he closed the gates so that we may not fall there anymore. Thus with Jesus, it becomes impossible to turn back into nothing!!!!!!!!

Haay.. I’m tired thinking…

Summary…
{ }, # jesus#, 1,2,3,4,…. #jesus#.. perfection
By coming form perfeciton he opens the gates to it.
By dying, he closes the gates to it.Astig si Jesus noh?

The Problem of Choice

Man falls and falls and falls and falls and falls and falls but the hand is still there extending and extending down to the unfathomable depths of the hole/the denial of man.

Aha!! That is the meaning of the cross!! Jesus offers his hand wherever,however deep we fall till we grab it ourselves. We will grab it when we get really scared and suffucated.

Jesus knows nobody really wants to fall, to turn back into nothing. But we do not know. Worse, we don’t even know we’re falling. When we are aware that we feell, then we grab his hand. Can man be aware before he reaches the bottom floor/the endpoint of denial? When man does reach the gates to nothing which are already shut closed, it will be very painful… imagine falling down a seemingly bottomless then hitting the solid ground below.. that’s how painful it will be…. After experiencing that pain, we come to our senses and appreciate the hand that is still there… we grab it.. then slowly move back up again. Our repentance is punishment enough. We do not need to be punished again and again. God doesn’t like punishing people. Yeah…
is it possible that one is falling and still wants to fall pa? yeah.. people keep killing for a living, people get addicted in sex, etc etc. Yet, they are still given the the extendable hand… yeah… they are still given the chance of returning… the heaviness of their heart, the sorrow is what will slow them down to go back and it will be the slow walking that will seem to be a punishment for them…

The path of life

Which is better?
A Church Stand: me ------------------------------------- > God (Mary’s case), magpakahirap na sundin lahat ng kautusan, maging mabuting tao at Christiano.
B going with the flow: Me /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\--------- /\/\/\/\ --- > God, bahala na habit.. mangyayari ang mangyayari, I will end up to God anyway, painfully nga lang..

Does it matter what to choose?
Man __________ ________God
There is a deep hole between man who is imperfect and who manifests traces of nothing and God who is pure perfection. But Jesus became the bridge to that deep hole of imperfeciton/sin.
Thus… Man __________________#####Jesus####__________God

1 Jesus bridges the already apparent presence of imperfection in man and the total perfection of God.
2 If man still falls due to his pride, thinking he can jump over the hole by himsel, jesus extends his PLASTIC Man arm and OFFERS his hand…
Here is the problem.. Man can refuse the hand.. like the dwarfs in Narnia.. tsk… The dwarfs kept closed to Aslan’s goodness.. other people/creations were decreated.. the dwarfs entered paradise… tsk… problem of choice…

Reroute, reroute

There were two positions:
A. lacking/absence of perfection
B. nothing by itself, perfection by itself…

Resolved by:
Nothing – imperfection (creation) – perfection (eternal life)
Yeah.. that’s it lang pala… What was my problem…

There is a being nothing but through creation we became something, thus being imperfect as well for we did not give existence to ourselves. Furthermore, we still experience the after effects of the nothing that we came from, thus we sin and experience evil, and thus slowly turning back into nothing. But through Jesus, we are given the chance to regain our somethingness. Yet one can reject redemption or the grace of forgiveness and become nothing again.. will god allow it?

We are free. We can “not choose” God. What does Christ’s death mean then?
-- so that all we’ll be saved from becoming nothing, to regain somethingness, and furthermore open the gates to perfection. There is no exemption. Everyone is saved.

What if I don’t want to…
-- ahah!!! But you do want to!! Imagine being in the usual concept of hell, you can probably say, “I don’t want it here.. I want light…”

Gee.. I’m getting confused… Conflict between freedom and Christ’s voluntary death…

So far… namnamin ang mga paghihirap at lungkot at kasamaan na kinalugmukan, magiging aware ka sa imperfeciton mo, then you’ll know how much you desire perfeciton. Yuou’ll turn to God to fill up that lack in you..

Does it mean na magpapakasasa na lang ako sa masama (patay patay, sex sex, etc..), so that I will better appreciate God?-- no no no! you will see that it will be hard to go to God if you did. But yeah din, you will better appreciate God… haay.. im lost again…

Jesus the Gate keeper

So.. the Word made flesh, the Perfect made imperfect redeems man from the possibility of returning back into nothing… He closes the gates to nothing that we may not pass by it forever. And opens up the gates to perfection. So there is no way but up!!!

Ngeks.. a new question.. problem of choice and freedom…
Is redemption given or can man say no…
--NOPE! It is done! It has been given!!
Can one deny salvation? Unrepentance?
-- sin against the HSP – unrepentance.. not asking for the grace…. Tskk… hmm…

Grace – is it to be attained pa? or it is already given. We didn’t ask for Jesus. HE just came. So, we are already graced. All this paek ek of begging for the grace is only to help us realize the grace that is already, already in us.

Beg for grace—ask, and ask and ask, the man will get up from bed and give you… But the man who we ask for grace knows best and however we ask, he won’t give us what we beg… err… does he…???? Tsk!!! Nawawala ako!!!

Is there a nothing?

It seems contradictory. We cannot talk about nothing. We are always something.
--But the traces of “nothing” is evident in the existence of imperfection. Sin makes us nothing or atleast closer and closer to nothing.

Can something be turned into nothing? Can creation be decreated? Would God allow that? Is decreating a sign of imperfeciton?
--God can do it. But is it contradictory to his perfection as creating a stone so heavy that he cannot lift it?

Not because we can’t talk about it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.. nor mustn’t we care.
Don’t we care that a tree falls in the forest even if we don’t know? It still affects us.

A person slowly turning into nothing must care about it. So must others.. whatever we do we cannot turn ourselves into a complete nothing. Only God who created out of nothing, can decreate into nothing.
Implication: there is no hell of tortures and everlasting punishment but rather a hell of decreation.

There is a “nothing.” God created us out of that concept! Resolved!!!

WE turn into nothing by being immersed in sin. PERSON – PERSO—PERS—PER—PE—R—{ }
Can man decreate himself? Will God decreate man?
Aha!! But Jesus came and defeated death!!! Defeated nothing!!! Defeated evil!!! Deafeated imperfection!!! And lived again!!! Aha! Aha!!!

Existence of evil

“blackness”/Imperfections/death/sin emphasizes “whiteness”/perfection/God/ makes us seek God

could there be an idea of perfection with an idea first of an imperfection?
Maling tanong… there is cold because there is lack of warmth (there is imperfection because there is a lack of perfection)

Does the two not exist together or does only one exist?
A. Imperfection as lack of perfection
-- extreme: dark as absence/lack of light

B. DARK exists and light exists
-- dark emphasizes light.

A implies that there is no such thing as DARK by itself but only in relation to a light
B implies that dark exists but nobody wants it.. they want light… nobody wants loneliness, sin, death,.. hmmm.. clarify…

Position A = lack of perfection is imperfection
Position B = process: “nothing” – imperfection – perfection
= “nothing” emphasizes the perfection
= ??? nothing?? … it cannot be anything
= imperfection … it can be perfect

aha!! You cannot turn black into white by adding moer white to make it white! It will only be less noticed. (e.g. dot in a white paper vs. dot in a dot )
While Position A sates that you can change black into white by adding what it lacks. By heating cold water, you give it back what it lacks to become warm.

Position B says.. No no no. cold water/Imperfection is capable of becoming hot. Our concept of “nothing” cannot be anything other than itself. It has no relation to white/perfection and is completely cut away from both!!

Hmmm…
Position A doesn’t admit of a “nothing”, Position B does…hmmm..

On Pain and pleasure

Pain opens self = sugat, pagod, embarassments
Pleasure is selfish.. hmmm… Pleasure is bad? Hmmm…
Eating – excessive pleasure = bad
Sex – excessive = bad? … yeah..
Playing piano alone is not as good/pleasurable as playing with others or with somebody hearing it.

Pain first, then pleasure?
Hunger – satisfaction
Naipon na ihi…
Abstinence/fasting…
Pleasure is better after pain…hmmm Hegelian yata to?

Yeah.. if all is pleasure.. it is not good
The self rejoices for a pleasure gained from or after pain than for a thousand pleasures pursued continously…

Yeah….

So, I must accept pains and look for them to better appreciate pleasuer,… right?

Can one be pleased without pain? Pleasure by itself.. good? Attainable? Hmmm…
Can one know white without black? Hmmm…
If everything is white, will I care? Probably not…
So there must be evil, if there must be an appreciation of the good.

how can wolves fly?

From what ive so far read. it was pegasus who got the frist wings. then there's this this earth horse who reached Narnia and acquired wings. then there were lions with wings, and men with wings. i've never read any story with winged wolves on it. so why not wolves?

wolves were my fist favorite dogs. then foxes. then german shepherds . but all i owned (since my lola brouhgt home one in a sack) were all askal breeds. id love to get one someday, but for now, my budget limits me to only 2 black bunnies. and anyway, winged bunies sounds too girlish for a masculine blog that seeks only to reflect goodness.

this is my goody goody blog. the realm of Ashlar. any nice things to say, mind boogling stuff, inspiring experiences, cool quotes, interseting insights, will be thrown here.

so there. my first entry.